Seven Seasons was officially released on September 21, 2024, the last days of summer before Autumn Equinox.
Seven Seasons is seven songs from different seasons of my life, recorded between 2001 and 2009. At the time I made these, they were so important to me and so integral to who I was. I put all the time, effort, and resources I could into writing, recording, and performing them. I had a lot of help as well, and I am grateful to those who worked on them with me. I am grateful to finally release and bring closure to my younger artist selves, and I hope you enjoy or feel inspired (or get a laugh) by something you hear.
SS 01: CRIMSON ROAR (2009)
In 2009 when I was writing and performing in a duo called Grapes Of Jade, I was also a single mom and an on-site manager of an apartment building. I felt spread thin but grateful to be able to provide for myself and my kids, and still play music.
My co-writer Cari sent me this guitar part right around the time I heard about two separate stories of children in my immediate ecosystem that were in dangerous, heart-wrenching circumstances. I felt so deeply summoned to do something about it, and so helpless in what to do, or if it was even my place to take action. In hindsight it definitely was. It is always my place to be of service. These lyrics are from the perspective of someone in great need. Someone pleading to be seen, to be heard, to be helped. This feels painfully relevant in our world today. May we reach out to those in need. May we not cower in self-doubt. May we act with courage and be of service wherever and whenever we can. ♥️🙏
This was recorded in San Diego in 2009, with a big thanks to Lis Viegas for joining us with her magnificent gift of percussion.
SS 02: Pumpkin Fluff (2005)
Hello, my Pumpkin Fluff. This song is unabashed, unrequited love. A connection that severs before it can grow. The heartbreak of a story that ends as soon as it begins. The dashed expectations of love blossoming and withering almost simultaneously. I feel this and I see this in so many different stories now. Romantic connections, dreams or friendships not meant to be, the tragedy of miscarriage and birth stories that end lives, hopes, and dreams, the loss of precious pets, a deep yearning for something you know is possible but feels just out of reach. The universal human conditions of love and loss connect us all together. We can hold each other closer, love a little harder, communicate more authentically, and strive every day to soften deeper into a life of kindness, warmth, and gratitude. Pumpkin Fluff became a song for my band Bella Swank in 2005. My co-writer, Juston Botello, sent me this guitar part, and I immediately felt the tender heartstrings of what it could be, infusing it with my own personal feelings and experiences. This version of the song was recorded solo with studio musicians in Provo, Utah.
SS 03: Brighter Sun (2001)
Brighter Sun! I was 22 years old, a new mom, living in Oceanside, California, and figuring myself out. And I still am. I so badly wanted a music career, but I didn’t see anything about the music industry that would work for me or even want me and what I was trying to do. I still feel that way. But I also still feel like I have to keep doing what I’m doing. Brighter Sun is about finding your true calling, being your true self, and ignoring the surface culture that says you need to be a certain way, look a certain way, make art a certain way. May we keep shedding our layers, being brave, and shining our light to the world around us. Find your sun.
SS 04: Emerald Shards (2008)
Oh the deep yearning of the wounded self. The unhealed heart center. The addiction to a person, a situationship, a fantasy. Distracting myself from the life and healing in front of me for the alleged greener grass of an illusion. I remember this viscerally. And you couldn’t pay me enough to go back to this internal world in my life lol. But hey, yearning can make great art! A lot of this time of my life is a blur, but I’m pretty sure I wrote this song in or around 2005, and performed it with my band, Bella Swank. This live recording was done at Bella Swank guitarist Kenn’s house in San Clemente, California in 2008.
SS 05: AirWaves (2002)
It was the winter of 2001-2002. I felt like the music I was making wasn’t good enough, wasn’t catchy enough, wasn’t poppy enough; it was too spiritual, too indie, too “me.” I wanted to write something that people would like. I wanted to be “successful.” So this was the song born of my desire to fit into mainstream music. I still think it’s catchy, it has great production, but almost every moment of it is two-dimensional to me. I have it positioned as track 5, chakra 5, the throat chakra represented by the blue color, as a symbol of a blocked throat chakra saying words and singing songs that don’t align with my purpose or soul’s expression. I put this out here as a message to myself to never again make something to try to please the powers that be, to never make art for the purpose of being liked or making money, and to always be fully authentic, fully from my spirit, no matter what happens or doesn’t happen. And so it is!