Oh the deep yearning of the wounded self. The unhealed heart center. The addiction to a person, a situationship, a fantasy. Distracting myself from the life and healing in front of me for the alleged greener grass of an illusion. I remember this viscerally. And you couldn’t pay me enough to go back to this internal world in my life lol. But hey, yearning can make great art! 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
A lot of this time of my life is a blur, but I’m pretty sure I wrote this song in or around 2005, and performed it with my band, Bella Swank. This live recording was done at Bella Swank guitarist Kenn’s house in San Clemente, California in 2008.
Emerald Shards is the fourth song on my most recent release, Seven Seasons: a second anthology of music I recorded, from 2001 to 2009, and finally released Autumn Equinox 2024. The fist anthology was released on Spring Equinox 2024 entitled Ostara Orion. It includes songs I recorded from 1998 to 2009.
Hello, my Pumpkin Fluff. 🎃☁️ This song is unabashed, unrequited love. A connection that severs before it can grow. The heartbreak of a story that ends as soon as it begins. The dashed expectations of love blossoming and withering almost simultaneously. I feel this and I see this in so many different stories now. Romantic connections, dreams or friendships not meant to be, the tragedy of miscarriage and birth stories that end lives, hopes, and dreams, the loss of precious pets, a deep yearning for something you know is possible but feels just out of reach. The universal human conditions of love and loss connect us all together. We can hold each other closer, love a little harder, communicate more authentically, and strive every day to soften deeper into a life of kindness, warmth, and gratitude.
Pumpkin Fluff became a song for my band Bella Swank in 2005. My co-writer, Juston Botello, sent me this guitar part, and I immediately felt the tender heartstrings of what it could be, infusing it with my own personal feelings and experiences. This version of the song was recorded solo with studio musicians in Provo, Utah.
This was one of my favorite songs we did in 2005. I wrote the lyrics as a note-to-self because I felt like I was shying away from my goals and dreams, and I was truly asking myself the questions: Where are you running to? Is that your plan to hide your head in sand your whole life through? Whatever happened to your carpe diem attitude? Is that passé now that they found a pigeonhole for you? You gotta let yourself GO. 🐎🔥🔥🔥 There have been plenty of times since then that I have found myself asking the same questions, and this song always reminds me to be brave and take action. 👊🐎⚔️
Bella Swank was a rock band that formed and played around Southern California in 2005. 🌞
Vocals - Summer Brighton
Guitar - Kenn Nicol
Bass - Rikki Sterling
Drums - Juston Botello
This song is for the moment you're standing in front of your significant other wondering should I stay or should I go, and something wells up inside of you and says: So many days, so many nights, so many minutes, so many moments all wrapped up in you. The day we met, do you remember? And when we fell, do you remember? Please believe in us.
Bella Swank was a rock band that formed and played around Southern California in 2005. 🌞
Vocals - Summer Brighton
Guitar - Kenn Nicol
Bass - Rikki Sterling
Drums - Juston Botello
I'll always Remember you guys! 🥲🤘🎶
Picture it: It's 2005. You have a RZR flip phone 📟 and a Myspace account 👤. These things are central to your life. You see on Myspace that the band Bella Swank 🎸 is playing a show near you. You put on your True Religion jeans 👖, Abercrombie shirt 👕, and Paris Hilton fragrance 🧯. Your chunky highlights are gleaming ✨. You walk into the venue just as they start playing Undone 🎤🥁. I wave at you from the stage 👋. I was hoping you would come 💓. You feel so alive. Let's rock, let's rock today. 😎🤘
This was recorded live in my living room in Murrieta, California in 2005.
Bella Swank was a rock band that formed and played around Southern California in 2005. 🌞
Vocals - Summer Brighton
Guitar - Kenn Nicol
Bass - Rikki Sterling Drums -
Juston Botello
Thanks guys, for this awesome time of life! 🤠🎶